mugging is tiring though its only consists of sitting there looking at notes.. or at most making some notes..
It's something Mystical
Sunday, June 19, 2005
withers away @ 11:17 pm
im back... penned down my thoughts late last night rather than simply recounting wad happened.. a bit incoherent im afraid but still.. better than nothing i suppose..
for once, i've lost track of time.. stupid me forgot to wear my watch, and the clock is at the other end and im lazy to get up and look.. all i know is, its a starless late night..
when people are gone and asleep, and here am i sitting alone in the living room, not knowing wad to do, only knowing that i still dun wish to sleep.. a feeling of being undisturbed is much appreciated at times..
the sense of solace i feel every single time i come here is something i know its impossible to experience in sg.. it feels so much at home here, where everyone is more or less living in harmony with everyone else.. anyone can join in for a game of daidee or mahjong no matter who's the one playing.. anyone can talk to anyone else even if they dunno each other's name (i can tell u i dunno 80% of my cousins' names), or do not even know how they are related to each other (my whole extended mother's side family is just too big).. but, everyone who steps into this house is family.
frankly speaking i've already lost track of many of my relatives.. i've got an ever-growing family! considering i only go back abt once a yr.. i've lost count of how many cousins i have.. i know there's more to come, same for nephews and nieces..
its probably strange to people that i can find comfort in such a place that is noisy even at this hour of the night.. men congregating outside drinking beer, children of various ages running around and crying without reason (not all of them of coz), mosquitoes, flies, the heat in the day, the humidity in the night even though the fan is blowing at full speed..
but.. to me this is where freedom lies.. no one really bothers about wad anyone else is doing.. children run free literally and somehow there will be people taking care of them.. like now, no one has asked me wad i am doing here writing stuff they dun understand.. even if they ask, they dun probe.. even my mum frees me when im here..
its a terribly nice feeling to just sit around, be able to do anything u want (minus stuff to do with the com), having no stress or homework wadsoever, and most importantly, no one to interfere with wad u are doing..
the feeling of being undisturbed vs the feeling of being abandoned.. similar in many ways yet so different..
the feeling of knowing u are accepted as long as u are in this house.. this is wad i call family..
the realities of life. these 3 words have been on my mind all the time.. life and death.. seeing someone u know who is going to go anytime in front of u.. responsibilities.. trust.. commitment.. the pain in the voice i hear and the words she says.. no matter how plainly she put it..
all i could do was sit there and listen..
and tml i know i will be back in sg, facing the realities of life coming in a wk.. break me or make me..
free me..
and here i am alr back in sg and i have no time to determine if i have the strength and will to pull through the realities of life.. haha nvm man.. i will mug all i can..
i've learnt that when He closes a door, its because He wants u to walk through another.be not afraidi go before you alwayscome follow meand i will give you rest
It's something Mystical
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
withers away @ 12:04 pm
i slacked ytd.. yoohoo.. but i still started on econs.. though i havent even finish one chapt.. die liao.. going back to m'sia frm fri to sun to celebrate my ah gong's bdae.. i think i need to bring back stuff to mug.. sian diao.. though i dun think i'll mug anyway.. haha.. today i must not slack.. u ppl dun slack too! haha..
wo xiang wo zhi daoyan lei de wei daoceng jing fu chu de mei yi tian mei yi nianwo bu ceng xiang taoshou shang de chi bang zong you yi tian hui man man man man de bian haoneng fei de geng gaodang shi qu ni de yi kaoyan lei de wei dao by energy
It's something Mystical
Monday, June 13, 2005
withers away @ 11:17 pm
been mugging these two days.. wad can i say? not mugging fast enuff.. i can foresee the same thing.. not enough time to finish.. haha.. when do i finish anyway? i must start on econs! bleah random thoughts all over the place.. i dun think i sound coherent.. do i? no i dont.. argh shucks i should just shut up for now man haha.. i dun make sense.. haha..
zai ni li kai zhi hou de tian kongwo xiang feng zheng xun yi ge mengyu hou de tian kongshi fou you fang qing hou de mian rongwo jing jing de wang zhe tian kongshi zhe xun zhao shi luo de gan dongzhi neng yong xiao rongqi dai zhe yu guo tian qing de cai hongtian kong by jolin
It's something Mystical
Saturday, June 11, 2005
withers away @ 12:22 am
i expect this to be a really long post man.. 2 major events.. i just hafta blog abt them..
guitar camp.. on wed and thurs.. there's so much to say i dunno ware to start from.. ok lets see.. ice breakers.. we merged the groups and played mafia in the end... dots.. didnt even do any of the stipulated ice breakers except whacko..
lunch was mee siam.. too sour.. but actually it was ok to me coz i was hungry.. haha..
station games.. pretty fun to me.. just that there wasnt enough.. ky thinks the same haha.. and that was when i think everyone knew that im v violent haha.. coz there was this game in which girls and guys in the grp are paired up and the girls supposed to snatch the so called "tail", which is actually raffia string sticking out of the guys' pants of the opposing group.. and guess wad.. i actually broke one of the raffia strings coz i pulled so hard that the scar on my finger is still there now.. coz he tied the string to his pants.. no wonder i couldnt pull it out.. so ever since that time everyone has the impression that im violent liao.. which is true haha..
wash up.. and they actually went to rent constantine vcd to watch.. j2s didnt coz we stayed in classroom to practice for our finale item.. dinner.. which was nasi lemak.. nice! haha.. we ate in classroom and continued practising.. ky kept practising her harmonisation even when she was eating!! damn funny..
and then there were some miscommunication.. the "mr koh show" didnt go on smoothly.. sing-along session led by the j2 gals (the exco basically) wasnt really good.. and stupid me used the wrong voice to sing.. happens every time i sing in a sing-along session.. which led to me losing my voice..
night hunt.. a revised version of the game mr koh played called underground chruch.. tiring.. very.. and vincent fell at the start of the game.. coz we, the "police" namely chengliang vincent and i were chasing after a grp of guys lah.. down the slope towards the ps.. he was running in front of me and suddenly stumbled and fell.. bled v badly.. he wanted to continue playing but we insisted he go rest.. so now worse.. cl and i had to run around the whole sch catching the rest of them.. aggravated my voice too i guess.. shouted quite abit.. it was only later when we found out that we should have just ambushed somewhere and waited for ppl to walk pass us to shoot water at them.. realized too late.. though we were successful in wadeva ambushes we carried out later.. after the game we were all soaked in sweat.. and it was 1+ already..
watched a movie which mr koh screened in class.. till 3.. and guess wad i still didnt want to slp.. stoned for a while.. den slpt in the end.. though not v well coz i knew when ppl came in and on the lights.. i could still hear shiwei's laughter from 2 classrooms away while i was supposedly slping..
woke up at around 7.. though breakfast is only at 9.. lazed around.. after breakfast was practice.. was still quite apprehensive abt whether i could sing for the j2 finale item.. but thank God my voice came back somehow.. i could use my head voice after singing for some time.. haha.. had practice with my grp also.. wad a crappy plot they came up with lah.. hiyo.. really damn stupid and lame.. ended up singing too.. haha.. but seriously during this practice everyone was v sian.. ok maybe it was just my grp.. i was just too tired to do anything..
shi zi lu kou game.. ok lah.. we were still quite sian.. didnt talk much on the way.. ate lunch at coro.. still v quiet.. haha..
practice again.. den finale.. lag time.. but at least the items presented by the grps were not bad.. haha.. prize giving.. thanks to mr koh that we have a prize..
den mr koh called for debrief for comm members and exco.. vvv long.. ok maybe it wasnt v long.. alot of stuff where it could be improved on.. alot alot alot.. den in the end still have to arrange tables in TA18.. the rest of the TA classrooms are quite in a mess.. at least i noe TA14 tables are all put tgt in the centre and chairs all around.. coz we slpt on the tables.. oh yah worse still.. side gate not open.. when me and amy were at the grandstand cl called me to say that.. abit late but.. better than never..
reached home tired and hungry.. by the time i was free it was 10.. decided to go online still.. somehow wanted to send thank u emails to all the ICs.. felt tt their efforts werent really recognized enough.. so there.. i still think the camp is a success coz we all got to know each other better.. whether its among the j1s or between the senior junior batches.. at least there was interaction.. i think we started them off better than wad our seniors did.. erm actually they didnt do anything.. and i think i can be a better senior than wad i was in ny choir.. at least i can like haf a proper conv with cl and vincent online.. haha my juniors are nice ppl! hope they enjoyed the camp.. i should try to ask for opinions, besides from the ICs..
now for today..
went for yang's bdae outing.. happy belated bdae!! ok i must say that it wasnt really good.. coz we were actually stoning towards the end.. really didnt know wad to do.. went to ps for lunch at pastamania.. got alcohol.. den pool.. which we waited for damn long.. sum had to go for training.. yang was like drunk.. haha.. actually v funny.. sum was actually also abit "gong gong" liao.. and after that we stoned.. for a v long time actually... went to read books in times in the end.. and guess wad.. we forgot the bday song again!! argh.. yang, really v sorry.. :(
ok its late.. i better go slp..
It's something Mystical
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
withers away @ 10:34 pm
camp's tml.. i pray and hope that everything will turn out ok.. :)
It's something Mystical
Saturday, June 04, 2005
withers away @ 11:00 pm
had class outing ytd! haha.. not really class actually.. 1/3 of the class.. haha.. but wadeva the size, ice skating is always fun.. haha.. and mb was there! hoho.. its nice to get out of house to play once in a while..
and not to mention, go back to mugging after that.. bleahz..
did maths the whole day.. dunno how i did it man.. felt quite drained really.. haha.. but still its hols.. at least can decide on wad time i wake up myself.. haha
It's something Mystical
Thursday, June 02, 2005
withers away @ 11:59 pm
went for sch for whole day today.. hoho.. went for guitar meeting.. which always must last for more than 2h somehow.. haha.. really hope it'll go on smoothly man.. we've already had so many meetings.. haha..
went for lunch.. spa.. gosh.. live crickets and mealworms.. thank god we aren't the first shift.. haha.. well i dun really care abt the results.. its just a "get over and done with" attitude.. i wasnt really bothering.. haha
and class blog's up!!! joan u really really rox man.. its really damn good.. haha u should have seen the shock on my face when i first saw it man.. yoohoo~
tml's class outing.. erm not really class anymore.. about half not coming.. haiz.. sian diao.. hope it'll be fun:)
wo yao wo zi ji jian qiangwo zhi dao wo neng zuo daowo jiu yao huo de bi cong qian geng haoyi er sanshen hu xijiu gan jue cheng li liang jiao zuo chi bangzhun bei fei xiangshen hu xi by yu heng
It's something Mystical
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
withers away @ 12:51 am
its difficult not to be insecure at times. its a phase i go through in every journey. forever always seems so far away; i cant see it, neither do i know how it looks like. dear, u know wad i mean right.. i think its time to trust the people i love, and to trust Him..thank you.. thank God..